Date: 25 September 2000, Issue 09



Sinning Your Way

to Lansing



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Warning: This is a frivolous article offered for your casual enjoyment. The author accepts no liability for resulting abuse that most certainly would be leveled at any individual foolhardy enough to attempt to implement the ideas contained herein.

The beginning of another exciting choral season is upon us and the challenge for many of our choruses is how to find the income to pay for all the projects we would like to embark upon. Of particular general interest is ways and means to raise funds that would subsidize the trip to AMCA's next International Big Sing in Lansing. The quest is never ending and executives can be seen huddled in earnest discussions to find ways to support chorus needs without evoking the ire of their membership by raising dues. Not so for the various levels of government, they have found a simple and effective way to generate revenues that help to pay for their projects - fines!

Fishers who either overfish or fish out-of-season pay hefty fines for their indiscretions helping to fund public awareness advertisements and restock fish hatcheries. Motorists who speed or otherwise break traffic laws dip into their wallets to pay for their unlawful acts thus supporting programs aimed to teach safe driving habits. Inebriated celebrants who misbehave in public places are hauled off to court and fined. Not only do these fines encourage our public to be more responsible, but they help support programs of public awareness - sin supports service. What could be better!

Why our choruses haven't adopted this concept escapes all reason. We certainly have our share of miscreants, sinners and violators. Let's make them pay for their improper behavior as a way of supporting the programs their chorus is attempting to fund. And a good example is raising money to finance a trip to the next International Big Sing.

I offer for your consideration the following "Fines Schedule" that could apply to any choral organization, but would work particularly well with AMCA'S motley crews.

FINES SCHEDULE
  1. Quiet late arrival to rehearsal - $1.00
  2. Noisy late arrival to rehearsal - $2.00
  3. Noisy late arrival to rehearsal whilst loudly placing the blame on his wife. - $3.00
  4. Attending practice without music - $1.00
  5. Found by librarian to be holding duplicate copies of a piece - $1.00
  6. Found by librarian to be holding duplicate copies of a piece in short supply - $2.00
  7. Artfully highlighting all your music with non erasable magic marker - $5.00
  8. Not using a pencil to mark in special instructions given by conductor - $1.00
  9. Not doing #8 and repeatedly asking for those instructions - $5.00 each time
  10. Not turning up your hearing aid and muttering "Wot???" all night - $10.00
  11. Falling asleep during rehearsal - $2.00
  12. Falling asleep during rehearsal and snoring - $5.00
  13. Coming to a show/rehearsal mildly intoxicated - $5.00
  14. Coming to a show/rehearsal blasted - $25.00 and sent home
  15. Talking while conductor is giving instructions to others - $1.00
  16. Talking while conductor is giving you instructions - $5.00
  17. Complaining about the music repertoire set by the music committee - $1.00
  18. Complaining about the music repertoire set by the music committee of which you are a member - $10.00
  19. Complaining loudly about your neighbor singing a passage out-of-tune - $1.00
  20. As in #19 but its discovered that YOU are the guilty party - $5.00
I leave you dear reader to add to this list and/or adjust the amount of each fine to suit your individual chorus needs. A mechanism for collecting the fines needs to be established. Section leaders might keep score cards and make the collection at break time and before leaving with a bucket attached to a long pole. Perhaps regular known offenders might be required to deposit a large amount with the treasurer at the beginning of the year as a "line of credit".

This is, I believe, a 'fine' idea for raising funds and helping to finance trips and other worthwhile projects if diligently and studiously pursued each time the chorus meets.

Based very loosely on an article that originally appeared in CenterArts, a quarterly publication of the Cultural Resources Council of Syracuse.

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Bill

Web manager's note:
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